Self Study

It is called the witness, the consenter, the sustainer, the enjoyer, the great lord, and the highest Self, the supreme Person in this body. -- Bhagavad Gita

The entire 300hr program can be considered a practice in svadhyaya as we all are asked to look inward and examine our practice, and what drives us to be teachers.

This week I spent more time thinking about this journey and program. It helped me to better understand why I'm pursuing this vocation. It is more of a calling than just a career opportunity after all.

I realized that I'm learning much more from working with people than I ever thought I would. I used to work at a desk programming code for a living and thought that was how I would earn a living the rest of my life. At one time I enjoyed the work because it kept me away from people and I could be introverted, not bothered and would find my own peace in that. It got old and unfullfilling and very lonely. I begain to feel like I wasn't doing enough for the world or making the world a better place.

Since I've been working with people in my teaching I've found that they are giving me so much more than I feel like I'm giving them. I tell people that when we are in class, I'm the facilitator. They will get out of the class whatever they put into it. The feedback in how they approach the class is amazing! I'm giving cues but they are responding with energy from places I don't know where! That's how I know this is a calling

I sat down last after my last day at a studio that was closing and thought about what my next steps are. Where will I go, what do I want to do, how will I go about doing whatever that is? I don't have all the answers to these questions yet. I've decided to let the universe take me where it wants. We'll see where it leads. I need to go with the flow right now and see who I will practice with and who will teach me on that road.